Okay, first things first. I was born in 1972,
year of the Rat, when peace and love was all finished, and all we had
to look forward to was the seventies and the eighties. It's enough to
make you cry already. I was born on 18th
April, the date of the Great San Francisco Earthquake, and also
the anniversary of Einstein's death. My parents lived in Newcastle
under Lyme. In fact, they still do, and there I grew up, next to
the bustling metropolis of Stoke-on-Trent.
"He that but looketh on
a plate of ham and eggs to lust after it, hath already committed breakfast
with it in his heart."
I went to school at a Christian Brothers (Catholic)
all-boys school called St.
Joseph's College. They let girls in these days, it just ain't the
same. I mostly enjoyed school, didn't pick up too much Catholic guilt,
and ended up as head boy. Please supply your own oral sex reference
as required.
"The future is not a promised
land which heroes attain. It is something which everyone reaches at
the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is."
I went off to university
in Edinburgh,
and I've never left the place. In my first year I fell in love with
a boy for the hundredth time, but for the first time I actually told
him. To be fair, though, it was only cos he came out to me first! Anyway,
my life changed, I stopped hating myself and launched my career in the
twilight world of the homosexual...
"See what the boys in the
backroom will have, and tell them I'm having the same!"
Aah, the Laughing Duck... Chaps...
The Blue Oyster! How many hours we spent slagging off
the gay scene in Edinburgh. For a young Catholic boy it was quite the
eye-opener. I spent my student years alternately moping over lost
love and ... no, wait, that was all I did.
"Cured yesterday of my
disease, I died last night of my physician."
I finished Uni with a degree in Computer Science, did a little bit
of contracting work, and then in a moment of boredom while chatting
to my friend Laura we decided to organise a Pride event in Edinburgh.
The year was 1994, and Pride
Scotland was born!
"Go directly - see what
she's doin', and tell 'er she mustn't"
By 1997 I was bored again, especially of spending all my spare time
working for a community of ungrateful bastards*,
and I left PS, but I couldn't help myself, and I got involved in another
community enterprise, namely the Equality
Network. EN has since become one of the leading LGBT campaign groups
in the country, which makes me proud.
"He spoke with a certain
what-is-it in his voice, and I could see that, if not actually disgruntled,
he was far from being gruntled."
Anyway, back to me... Meanwhile in my real job I was
using my IT skills to create course materials for the Edinburgh
Business School. So me and a bunch of my fellow-contractors got
together and formed our own company, CAPDM
Limited, and it's been paying my wages ever since!
"The salary of the chief
executive of the large corporation is not a market reward for achievement.
It is frequently in the nature of a warm personal gesture by the individual
to himself."
Well that's just about brought you up-to-date I think. What? Well yes,
of course there are gaps. A boy has to keep some of his mystery...
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