well i feel like a total twat now... fuckshitwank, as danny might say. (that particular little liaison is at an end.)

sigh.

i'm in a confused state. no, not vegetative, confused.

i think i got into a mindset which placed liaisons into two absolutely exclusive types: one-nighters and long-terms. recently it's been distinctly one or the other. for the one-nighter you don't really need to appreciate him, just fancy him. for the long-term you don't really need to fancy him, just appreciate him. which magically makes everyone i fancy into a potential one-nighter rather than a potential relationship. doh!

now say, for argument's sake, that i met someone who i really fancied. he expressed an interest, but not in jumping into bed straight away. you can see how my fragile little world might suffer a little insecurity.

maybe this is the Third Way.

four legs good, two legs better.

wibble wobble wibble wobble jelly on a plate.

[exits chased by a bear]

well.

dear diary...

i met someone. could be special. dunno. gorgeous, certainly. smart, and sweet as hell. which is a strange simile if ever i heard one.

i think i might be getting a little infatuated. and impatient. i really want to go faster, which is a bit of a role reversal for me. i'm usually dragged along and not quite sure. the boot is on the other foot now. he's interested, i think, but holding back. and that is cool, and exciting, and oh shit when did i turn back into a teenager??

don't you rain on my parade
i'm happy for once, and that's worth celebrating
and did you care, when i cut my hair
cos i wanted you to.
he's falling for you

falling, so catch him
falling, so catch him
falling, he's falling down

i'm falling down.

blueboy - so catch him